
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2671592.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      K-pop, B.A.P
  Relationship:
      Bang_Yongguk/Choi_Junhong_|_Zelo
  Character:
      Bang_Yongguk, Choi_Junhong_|_Zelo
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Zombie_Apocalypse, Character_Death, Zombie
      Apocalypse, Violence, Graphic_Description, Rough_Sex, Jealousy, Hurt/
      Comfort, Possessive_Behavior, Hate_to_Love
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-12-17 Words: 4765
****** Would You Just Shut The Fuck Up ******
by allpowerfullou
Summary
     There were a few things running through Yongguk’s mind at that
     particular moment, his back pressed firmly against the underside of
     the flipped car. His breathing was ragged, heart fluttering beneath
     his chest like a bird trapped in a cage. He let his eyes flutter
     shut, listening to the groans and repulsive sounds coming from the
     surrounding horde.
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
There were a few things running through Yongguk’s mind at that particular
moment, his back pressed firmly against the underside of the flipped car. His
breathing was ragged, heart fluttering beneath his chest like a bird trapped in
a cage. He let his eyes flutter shut, listening to the groans and repulsive
sounds coming from the surrounding horde.
They came from fucking nowhere, it was as if the moment the sun began to set
they all decided to come out and play. Lucky for Yongguk, his shotgun had three
rounds left, and Junhong was fucking missing with the rest of the ammo and
three extra guns. He wasn’t even sure if they knew he was there, but it
wouldn’t be long before they knew.
This batch was different. They could sense their prey. It was almost as if they
could see the warmth of the survivors, maybe they could smell them too, but
some how they always came running, cornering the unfortunate fuck and devouring
him alive. It wasn’t too common to see them change people anymore, almost like
their hunger was so uncontrollable they couldn’t stop even if they wanted.
Which was good for Yongguk, who had somehow managed to survive long enough to
lose count of the months, maybe even years. There were other survivors of
course, groups, camps, travellers, entire entourages of people, but Yongguk
never stayed with them long. He always blamed it on how loud they were, how
reckless, but in all reality, it was the looks they gave Junhong. It was as if
the light shined out of his sweet little ass, and Yongguk could feel the food
in his gut spoil in anger.
Granted, Junhong was always nicer than him, welcoming to new people and ideas,
but it felt like they blatantly ignored the fact the abnormally tall kid
belonged to Yongguk and only Yongguk. It pissed him the fuck off. Every night
he’d leave Junhong in worse condition than the previous. Bruises, blood stains,
scars, scratches, he’d fuck the boy so hard he walked with a slight limp and
some days couldn’t get out of bed at all, tears running down his flushed face
as he apologized and told Yongguk he wanted to rest so he could be ready for
whatever his elder had in store for him for the next night.
Yongguk managed to slow his breathing enough to think about the task at hand,
getting out of the mess he some how found himself in. He pressed the gun to his
thin chest, taking in the surrounding area, brain desperately searching for a
way out, an exit. In the back of his mind, he knew what needed to be done, but
he hesitated. What if something happened to him and Junhong had no place to go?
His main reason for staying alive so long was the younger, lost boy, but to be
honest, Junhong was probably better off without him and he knew it. He was
social, friendly, he could go back to any group or camp and be accepted back
without a second glance.
Swallowing down his fear, Yongguk took a sharp breath, hands mindlessly
checking the rounds in his double barrel shotgun. He needed to act fast, to
move without thinking. He’d been in similar situations before, hell, he was
better off in this one than he usually was.
Pulling his lower lip between his teeth, Yongguk inhaled deeply before moving
to his feet. He crouched down , moving slowly to peer around the edge of the
car’s flat left tire. There were one hundred, most likely more, Yongguk had
never been good at guessing. He needed to gather his bearings, make a plan. If
he managed to escape, he would need a place to go. Like hell he was going to
lead them back to his hideout, what if Junhong was there? They were strong
during the day, but the night was their element.
Peering out a little further, he saw a tuft of blonde hair sticking out from
behind a car a few dozen feet away.
“Fuck,” he breathed out, eyes widening in panic.
Junhong never actually fucking listened. Yongguk gritted his teeth, noticing
the mass amount of zombies in the boys general area. As far as he knew, Junhong
was right behind him for most of the walk back to their “home”. Yongguk always
paid special attention to Junhong even if he didn’t realize it. But of course
the one fucking time he didn’t pay attention, instead choosing to scope out the
slightly unfamiliar area, the younger boy ran off.
It probably happened at the goddamn left turn. He knew they should’ve went
right.
Yongguk moved back behind the car and rested his shotgun on the side of the
vehicle aiming for a zombie about 25 feet from him, in the opposite direction
of Junhong. He aimed carefully, tiptoeing slightly to lean over the sawed off
gun, and pulled the trigger.
It felt like time was in slow motion, this always happened when he was in
situations like this. It was the surge of adrenaline through his veins, the
moment of life or death. He shot again, hitting it on the left side of it’s
face, causing it to fall back on the ground into a pool of it’s pale red blood.
He kept his aim solid, eyebrows furrowed as he moved along hitting them in
various places.
His aim was usually amazing after months and years of practice, but the image
of Junhong with a swarm of zombies around him, tearing open his pale neck and
devouring him alive, left his hands shaking. The creatures were confused as
Yongguk dunked back down to reload again. They began moving towards the
bleeding out bodies, groans and screams filling the night air. He was thankful
somehow the electricity somehow managed to stay on, or he would be so fucked.
As the creatures moved and swarmed, Yongguk pushed off from the car and began
to sprint towards the wide-eyed boy staring at him from his hiding place.
Yongguk had no idea why he even cared so much, the fuck had nearly gotten him
killed half a dozen times throughout their entire time together, which really
wasn’t even that long after the zombies came around. He almost shot Junhong
between the eyes when the younger tried to raid his supplies and somehow they
stuck together.
Of course, the creatures noticed him, the abnormally warm body of fresh meat
moving rapidly past them in their confused stupor, Yongguk would have been
fucking deranged to think his plan was going to be seamless, but it didn’t
necessarily matter at the moment. He was close enough to Junhong to grab the
boy by his hair, jerking him to his feet, and dragging him along as they ran.
“You fucking dumbass,” he seethed, finally releasing the younger’s hair and
peering behind him to see the impending horde.
“I’m sorry,” Junhong panted struggling to keep up with the shorter man, “I
spaced out and you turned. I didn’t mean to,” his voice sounded so young and
desperate as he wheezed, struggling to find the oxygen he needed to keep going.
Yongguk took a sharp turn down a narrow alley, gripping Junhong’s arm to drag
him along. The man didn’t miss a beat, jumping over debris and bodies. Junhong
shook off the older man, falling into step with them as they burst out the
other end, aimlessly running.
Within seconds Yongguk was backtracking, grabbing Junhong and covering his
mouth.
They stood in the middle of the street, a massive group of zombies feeding on
dozens of human bodies, some dead, some alive, but most in between. It looked
like they had found a group of vagabonds wandering through the city, a rather
large group, but the horde was much larger. Yongguk could feel Junhong tense up
in his arms, leaning into the older a little more, and some how he knew the boy
was tearing up.
As quietly as possible, Yongguk started walking the two backwards, eyes locked
on the scene before them. The sounds of tearing flesh and whimpers filled the
air, along with cries of help as some of the people noticed the pair. One man
in particular stuck out in the crowd and Yongguk had to cover Junhong’s mouth
tighter to block the whimper that slipped out.
Jiho laid on the ground staring at them, jaw slightly parted with a thin trail
of blood running down his chin, eyes glossed over. His chest rose and fell
steadily, three zombies surrounding him as they literally ate his insides. He
blinked slowly, eyes seeming to go right through the gawking by-standers. With
a pitiful moan, he lifted one arm a few centimeters from the ground beckoning
towards Yongguk and Junhong; his last plea for help.
Junhong shuddered in Yongguk’s arms, and all Yongguk could do was shake his
head softly, stepping away from the man he’d known since the beginning of the
outbreak. A sob echoed off the surrounding building as Jiho’s last hope of help
turned away, trying to save their own asses before one of the zombies noticed
them.
Yongguk released Junhong, opting to grab his hand instead and began running
away from the second group of zombies, meanwhile the first was beginning to
pour through the narrow alley wall. The screeches and cries that came from the
first horde alerted the second, and Yongguk’s blood ran cold.
“So help me god, if you fucking trip I’m leaving you,” he snarled as he let go
of Junhong’s arm, instead grabbing a pistol off the the holster on the blonde’s
chest.
“Yongguk,” Junhong murmured, his brain struggling to figure out Yongguk’s plan
of action, “How are we going to get out of this?”
“You’re going to shut the fuck up, grab a fucking gun, and shoot it if it gets
too fucking close,” Yongguk replied sharply, hoping Junhong couldn’t hear the
fucking terror in his deep voice.
Humming in agreement, Junhong grabbed his gun and cocked it, ready to shoot if
need be.
For dead things, this batch of zombies was fast. They were fast, loud, and
catching up on the two who were fatigued and quickly tiring.
“Where are we going to go?” Junhong panted and for some strange reason, the
terror and breathlessness of his voice shot straight through Yongguk like an
electric charge.
“We can’t go home with them following us,” Yongguk said as he zeroed in on a
zombie coming in from their right, the alley flooded with members of the
undead, and shot several times.
His aim was much better knowing Junhong was at his side, also shooting them as
he went. Their bodies dropped, attracting some of the others to stop and dine,
other simply stumbled over them and attempted to get back to the two survivors.
The pair made a left down a large wide main road, dim street lights and pale
moonlight lighting their way. Junhong recognized the street easily, they were a
block down and three blocks to the right of their home, but something told him
they weren’t taking the direct route. Yongguk unloaded and entire round of
bullets into the horde behind him, running backwards as his did so. There was a
sickening smirk on his face as the bodies fell to the ground with a sickening
thud, almost as if he didn’t care that they were once humans.
Junhong was a little more hesitant with his shots, only shooting when they were
within ten feet of him, and he knew it pissed Yongguk off. There was just
something about their familiar faces that made his stomach clench and his hand
hesitate.
“Will you fucking kill these sons of bitches before I fucking push you into
them,” Yongguk snarled angrily, his eyes cold with a hint of panic behind the
black that shone in the glare of the streetlights.
Swallowing his guilt, Junhong began taking aim and shooting, not as freely as
Yongguk, but enough for the man to stop glaring at him.
They took several turns managing to lose some and kill others, but the horde
was still massive. Junhong’s legs felt weak, his lungs burned, and a whimper
fell from his throat as he desperately struggled to keep up with the older man
ahead of him.
“Junhong, get the fuck up here,” the blonde felt his eyes beginning to go fuzzy
with exhaustion, digits and limbs tingling.
“I can’t keep running,” Junhong panted, desperately reaching out to grab
Yongguk’s arm
Without hesitation, Yongguk spun to shoot several more zombies, then made a
sharp left down an unfamiliar alley. Junhong’s panting was the only thing in
his ears, blocking out the sound of the remaining horde. He was actually
surprised they hadn’t encountered more in their travels, usually night time
alleyways were the worst but now it seemed as if the main road was more
dangerous.
After winding through the underbelly of the darkening streets, Yongguk jumped
up grabbing a fire escape ladder and climbed hastily before grabbing Junhong’s
arm and basically pulling the younger up along with the ladder. The younger
wheezed, struggling to keep his breathing but Yongguk couldn’t afford to stop;
not yet, at least.
He took the stairs two at a time, not bothering to check behind him for the
younger. When he got to the fifteenth floor, he stopped climbing, hesitating
for a second before opening the window and climbing inside.
It wasn’t their apartment, Junhong actually didn’t know how Yongguk knew the
place, but something told him he’d find out soon enough.
The place was cozy, very homelike. Junhong shut the window behind him, blocking
out the moans of the confused and abandoned zombies. They couldn’t climb
ladders, as for stairs he wasn’t sure, but he felt safe, warm.
“Yongguk,” Junhong’s soft voice cut the silence, causing Yongguk to look up
from where he was leaned against the wall, sweaty and tired, “Where are we?”
A grim smile tugged on Yongguk’s mouth as he pushed himself to his feet, lazily
looking at the baby faced blonde.
“Jiho,” a wake of nausea shook through Junhong’s stomach and if it weren’t for
he older man’s hands he definitely would have collapsed on the bed beside him.
“Is this a fucking joke?” he snapped, staring into sunken black eyes.
“Do you think this a fucking joke? Do you have any goddamn idea how many time
he had saved my ass during this fucking apocalypse? He’s saved yours a few
times too if I remember correctly,” his voice was raspy with fatigue, and his
words felt like they shook Junhong’s body as he stared down at the floor.
“How long are we staying?” he asked softly, sitting down on the bed to slip his
shoes off.
Instead of answering his question, Yongguk’s lips were pressed against his
frantic and angry. Junhong made an uncomfortable sound in the back of his
throat, but opened his mouth to Yongguk’s prying tongue without hesitation.
Nails digging into Junhong’s soft arm, Yongguk groaned as he climbed on top of
the younger boy, straddling him. His brows were furrowed and their was a line
of sweat on his brow as he pulled away and glared at the younger boy. Junhong
could feel his heart reverberating through his body and he was positive Yongguk
could feel it too. For some reason it seemed to be racing more from the the
unreadable look etched into Yongguk’s defined features than the sprint across
the city.
Skilled hands skirted across Junhong’s collarbones before running down his
chest to push up the thin damp fabric of his shirt. Yongguk leaned forward
kissing Junhong again, more teeth than anything. He bit and chewed on the
younger’s lips, causing the skin to break and a whimper to fill the room.
Hearing the sound, Yongguk shoved Junhong on his back, letting his hands rest
on the youngers half exposed stomach before his nails dug into the soft skin of
his belly and began to cut into the skin as his pushed the shirt up more.
Angry red marks were left in his wake, and Yongguk dipped his head again, teeth
connecting with Junhong’s neck leaving a flurry of bites on the skin, his hands
running along the expanse of now exposed skin. Junhong sighed at the familiar
feeling of Yongguk’s touch as his moved to bury his hands into Yongguk’s hair,
hips twitching up underneath his boyfriend from the sensation.
The movement caused his already half hard dick to rub against Yongguk’s own,
and a moan from deep in his chest filled the room. Yongguk chuckled at the
sound, pushing his hips down, hoping to drag another noise from the boy,
revelling in the gasps and sounds. Humming in contentment, Yongguk’s mouth and
tongue worked at Junhong’s neck and shoulder, while his hands moved down his
body rather ungracefully, jagged sometimes bleeding marks left in his wake.
“Yongguk,” Junhong moaned as his elder’s hand slid into Junhong’s jeans,
grabbing his dick and squeezing too tight.
“Shut the fuck up,” Yongguk growled in his damp skin before running his tongue
over the boy’s Adam’s apple, making him shudder beneath his touch.
Yongguk had never been gentle, he never had the time or desire to be gentle.
Life had fucked him over too many times for him to urge to suddenly stop and
slow down. He gave a strong tug to Junhong’s cock, loving the way the boy
trembled beneath him, soft whimpers coming from his mouth before Yongguk began
roughly kissing him again, tasting the blood on his lips. He began to tug at
Junhong’s cock in jerky, uncontrolled movements, loving the way his thin hips
would cant his hips up into his hand. They both new Junhong got off on being
manhandled almost as fast as Yongguk got off manhandling him.
Stopping all of his actions completely, Yongguk looked down at the already
bruising, trembling wreck beneath him. He lifted himself up on his knees to
undo Junhong’s pants and tug them down to the boys knees, before standing up to
remove his own.
It was times like this when he looked up to see Junhong spread out on the bed,
dick curling up into his stomach, a flush spread across his body with purpling
bruises appearing along his neck and shoulders, that Yongguk thought Junhong
was the most beautiful. The desperate pleading look in his eyes as he stared at
the man hovering above him, as if all he wanted was for Yongguk to leave him a
limp pile of limbs, unable to walk.
“Roll over,” Yongguk said as he kicked his pants off, somehow managing to still
sound intimidating as his boots got stuck in the material.
Junhong did was Yongguk said, not a second of hesitation. He pushed himself to
his knees, pale ass in the air and face pressed into the mattress, already
knowing that Yongguk would have him like that within seconds of turning his
attention back to him. A chuckle filled the room, and Junhong couldn’t help but
feel a tinge of embarrassment at Yongguk’s roaming eyes on his body. He felt
the bed sink slightly, and then a pain so sharp it made his stomach flip, and
his asscheek burned where Yongguk had smacked him.
Instinctively, his hips pushed back, ready for another, and Yongguk didn’t
leave him waiting. Every smack was hard, making his dick twitch at the
sensation and involuntary grunts to fill the room, but it was never that simple
with Yongguk. He reached forward, leaning his naked body against Junhong’s and
grabbed the back of the boy’s hair pulling his head back enough to shove two
fingers into his mouth.
“Suck. Hard,” his words spurred Junhong into action, tongue wrapping around the
digits and sucking them further into his mouth, causing Yongguk to grind his
hips forward on the younger’s raw ass.
Yongguk’s hand removed itself from his head and found purchase on his hips,
fingernails digging into the skin deep enough for it to get stuck beneath his
nails. The vibrations from the boy’s whimper made Yongguk groan and his hips
moved forward again, his heart racing and neglected cock throbbing.
“Goddammit, could you hurry the fuck up,” Junhong bit down the Yongguk’s
fingers and pushed his ass back to rub against his dick, practically purring
when Yongguk smacked his ass again.
On the verge of losing control, Yongguk ripped his fingers from the warm, wet
mouth, making sure to scratch on his way out. He dragged the wet digits across
the boy’s face before trailing it down his long, lean body.
By the time he reached Junhong’s ass, the finger barely had any spit left on it
and Yongguk smirked at the sight. He sat back on his heels, looking at
Junhong’s trembling, red body, sighing happily at the gashed, cuts, and bruises
coating the flushed skin. He moved forward, continuing his slow annihilation of
the younger man and tapped his inner knee, signalling for him to spread his
legs more, making it easier for Yongguk to slide a finger into him.
Junhong whimpered at the intrusion, hips moving forward to escape while he
clenched around the finger, pulling it in more. Yongguk, grabbed his hip,
tugging his ass back so he couldn’t escape and built up a fast pace without
waiting for him to adjust.
“Yongguk, please,” Junhong begged, the burning he felt spreading across his
body as it felt like he was being ripped open.
“Oh, would you just shut the fuck up? At least I’m prepping you, next time I
won’t even bother with that,” he retorted, adding two more fingers
simultaneously.
The scream that filled the room made Yongguk’s dick throb, and Junhong flailed
in the older’s grip, unable to escape his endless movements. In an
uncomfortably gentle voice, Yongguk began speaking softly to the boy, leaning
over him again to mumble into his ear and place kisses along his shoulders,
nipping down his spine.
The sudden change in character made Junhong tense uncomfortably, and it only
got worse when the fingers pulled out of him, leaving him open and needy.
Without any warning, Yongguk slammed into him, hitting right below his prostate
so hard Junhong’s pushed his hips back and moaned low and deep. Tears trailed
down his face, and instantly Yongguk was moving again.
To most it wasn’t considered love. If this were any other setting or
circumstance, most probably would have considered it rape, especially with the
age difference between the two, but despite common belief, Junhong loved the
way Yongguk abused. He loved the deep scars and blood stains, they were more
meaningful than a kiss or soft bite. This wasn’t an ordinary circumstance and
neither Yongguk nor Junhong were ordinary people.
Yongguk was bitter, angry. He loved with his whole body, and apparently he used
to be really happy, until he watched his entire family get turned one by one.
He shot his mother right between the eyes to make sure she was dead. His sister
ran off, terrified and alone. She was unable to cope with what was happening,
and that’s why he was so hellbent on always knowing where Junhong was.
Everything made sense when it was pieced together in the beautiful, intricate
puzzle of Bang Yongguk. Junhong had been used to being touched and hit, that’s
how his friends and family showed their love, and he thrived with it. He loved
any sort of physical contact. It was comforting.
Granted, the two weren’t a perfect match, they were the best the other was
going to find.
Junhong’s hips were flaming red and even beginning to bleed slightly where
Yongguk was gripping, grunting with every thrust into Junhong’s tight warmth.
Meanwhile Junhong was mewling and sobbing at the sensation. The pleasure barely
outdid the pain, and he felt the tight coil of heat in his lower stomach, his
body tensing up with every thrust.
“Are you going to fucking cum for me, baby?” Junhong clenched around Yongguk as
he came, tears blinding his vision and going light headed, as if he were
flying.
He shot thick ropes of cum all over his stomach and chest, the sticky, hot
liquid dripping on the bed as his body went limp. If it weren’t for the older
man’s tight grip, he would’ve fallen completely, but Yongguk was still moving
in and out of him at a frantic pace, desperately searching for his release.
When he came, he all but pass out, squeezing the younger so hard the once grey
sheets now stained red and white, as their cum and blood mixed together.
Yongguk pulled out of the younger, watching as the liquid dripped down
Junhong’s quivering thighs, and he was filled with a tinge of adoration for the
younger. He didn’t bother cleaning them up, instead he just rearranged the pile
of limbs and tucked him under the blankets, before crawling in after him and
holding him close.
 
 
 
He had barely fallen asleep before he heard a weird noise. Yongguk peeled his
eyes open, looking for the source, but instead he was met with a sick Junhong.
The pale boy was now green and sweat ran down his forehead, pitiful moans
filled the room as he clutched his stomach, throwing up the contents all over
the edge of the bed.
“Junhongie?” Yongguk asked, his voice soft and confused.
“Yongguk, I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, tears now mixing with bile.
His thin body trembled, shaking in the older’s arms, and Yongguk shook his head
and moved to look the boy in the eye. His face was pale, skin clammy, and his
eyes were glassy and pupils dilated. Symptoms Yongguk had seen too many times
before.
“Junhong. What the fuck did you do?” he asked, more frightened than angry.
The younger went silent apart from his whimpering, and untucked his arm from
the blankets, revealing a festering bite mark.
“When?”
“When we were separated,” his voice was soft and weak, barely finding it’s way
to Yongguk’s ears.
Yongguk hummed in response, eyes locked on the bite mark that wasn’t there an
hour before.
“Yes, it was, it just wasn’t as bad. You probably mistook it for one of your
own,” Junhong said as if he could read Yongguk’s mind.
“Junhongie, you know what this means?” they both stilled, another sound finding
their ears, an unsettling growling that seemed to surround them.
“Yongguk, I don’t want to be one of them. I don’t want to change. I want to be
with you,” Junhong’s words became frantic babbles, pouring out of his mouth
like water.
Silently, Yongguk crawled on top of Junhong, straddling him again as he looked
down at the younger man he’d gotten attached to over the course of the
outbreak. Fuck, he wasn’t fuck attached, he was in love. And now the last good
fucking thing to happen to him was being ripped from his grip.
The pair looked at each other, they both knew what needed to be done, it was
simply getting the courage to do it.
“Yongguk,” Junhong whispered, staring up at the man.
He shut his eyes and leaned down, connecting their mouths in by-chance the
sweetest kiss they ever shared, tears mixing together with spit and dried
blood. Yongguk placed his forehead on Junhong’s, shutting his eyes.
“I don’t want to do this, Junhong,” his voice was quiet, defeated.
Junhong’s long thin fingers reached up to cup Yongguk’s face making the older
lock eyes with him.
“Hey, they’ll get you soon enough,” he added with a small smirk, enough to make
Yongguk reach over the side of the bed to where their discarded clothes and
weapons were.
Staying firmly planted on Junhong’s nimble hips, Yongguk loaded the gun,
breathing steadily as he attempted to keep his composure.
He took off the safety, making eye contact with the younger man.
“Junhong, I-” he was cut off but a moaning that wasn’t coming from him or
Junhong, instead outside the door.
“Yongguk, please, and then get out of here. I’ll be fresh enough to hold them
off,” his words made Yongguk dizzy.
Junhong was the only thing he had, the only home he knew. The camps and groups
he met never liked him or accepted him like they did with his companion.
“I love you,” Yongguk murmured, placing the gun between Junhong’s beautifully
round eyes.
“Don’t say shit like that, you might actually feel something,” Junhong
retorted, a dry smirk, “I love you, too.”
Yongguk swallowed, inhaled, shut his eyes, and pulled the trigger.
End Notes
     Thank you for reading omg this was written for Anki, and sorry for
     making you cry, and if you didn't cry, read it again. I'm kidding,
     um, I don't know diddly shit about the zombie apocalypse, I smut and
     that's about it. But yeah, thanks for reading omg.
     Also, this was originally posted on my lj (allpowerfullou), I'm gonna
     be posting my stuff on both omg.
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